Things People in Long Distance Relationships Hate Hearing

LDR’s. Long Distance Relationships.
Relationships that span a significant amount of distance. The kind of distance that makes you plan a trip to see one another. The kind of distance that makes the nights lonelier and the days longer. The kind of distance that makes the heart grow fonder and the moments even more cherished.

Trust me. I know what you’re thinking. And I’m tired of hearing it. Just like every other couple who is in a LDR. Here’s a few things that people say that we hate hearing:

I couldn’t do it.
Yeah. Clearly. You don’t have the mental fortitude to be faithful to someone who you love unless they are within a close proximity.
It’s difficult. I know. But when someone is worth it, the distance doesn’t affect your love for them. I couldn’t see myself with a woman greater for me than my girlfriend. I wouldn’t jeopardize that for anything. I’d rather struggle being 11 hours (782 miles) apart than try to make it work with a female that isn’t right for me in a closer distance.

The sex must be AMAZING!
Yeah. It is.
But what does that have to do with me being in a relationship with someone that I have sex with a few times a year?
Cmon now.

Don’t you hate not seeing them all the time?
Well duh. I hate not seeing my girlfriend in person. It sucks. Her presence is such a gift that I took advantage of before. I miss her every moment we are apart.
But I mean, we do have ways to see each other. I mean, the Internet and social media is pretty BOMB for that.
Skype dates. Snapchat shenanigans. FaceTime. We still get to see one another. It’s just that we don’t get to be physically together that’s a pain.

You must spend a lot of money to go see them huh?
Honestly, no. We plan out our trips months in advance. We book our flights or hotels or travel accommodations and budget everything in. She’s a planner. I’m detail-oriented. We make it work. And for the most part, our trips are fairly inexpensive.

Aren’t you worried that they’ll cheat?
No.
It’s a fear because it’s so common to hear that happen to people. It’s a personal fear because I’ve always been cheated on. But the past has no bearing on my relationship. What happens to other people isn’t going to happen to me. My relationship is the best it’s ever been because we have to be completely open, honest, and trusting to make it work due to the distance between us.

Marriage in the near future?
Isn’t the the whole point of dating someone?

How do you keep things interesting or keep the spark?
In very creative and fun ways. It’s a lot more fun to spoil and surprise your S.O. when you’re in a LDR.
Random gifts or letters in the mail.
Keeping things light and fun.
Making the most of all the time spent together.
Actually investing in one another and supporting one another.
Get involved in something you can do together, but in your separate locations.
Maintain strong relationships with each other’s friends so they can help you out when you two are struggling dealing with the separation

Don’t worry about us in the relationship. We’re good.
Just stop asking dumb questions.
Just support us in the relationship and what we are trying to have going forward!

The Real: Settling

Settling(v):
make (someone) comfortable in a particular place or position.

What’s the one thing we always hear or have heard about relationships? DO NOT SETTLE!

I’d have to agree. Here’s a few questions to ask yourself if you’re thinking you’re settling in your relationship:

• Am I truly happy?
• Is this a one-sided relationship or is this a 50-50 partnership?
• Is your partner selfish? Does he/she worry more about themselves and their needs than yours?
• Do you have doubts about a future with your S.O.?
• Does the relationship add unnecessary stress or bring you down?
• Does your S.O. inspire you to be better?
• Are you sacrificing too much?
• Are you having to change too much about yourself to keep the relationship afloat?
• Does the relationship lack emotion/passion?
• Are you comfortable/complacent/bored?
• Is there any spontaneity?
• Do you spend time together?
• Do you actually have anything in common?
• Are you having consistent sex?
• Are you dependent on your S.O.?
• Are you afraid of being alone?
• Are you convincing yourself to stay in the relationship when you’re unhappy?

There is nothing in this world that should make you stay in a relationship where you are not happy. I’m not saying that you should just call it quits because times are rough. But, if you have to make excuses and struggle internally about whether or not to stay, it’s time to recognize that you’re falling into a settlement trap.

You do not deserve to be with someone that doesn’t make you feel the most important person in the world.
You should not stay with someone who stops trying after the relationship gets to a certain level.
You will not allow yourself to settle.

Relationships only work when both people never stop dating. When one or both individuals stop trying to fall in love on a daily basis, that’s the beginning of the end.

Take it from me.
Every prior relationship I’ve had has ended because of the effects of settling. When the relationships reach a certain level of comfort, it has always ended up with one of us or both of us becoming complacent and going day by day, just going through the motions.

You know the relationship has reached an all-time low when the passion fizzles. When you and/or your S.O. recognize that the spark is gone, you’ve reached the settling zone. This is where you have to make drastic changes to save the relationship or to part ways and end the relationship.

I refuse to be in another relationship where I or my S.O. stop trying. I told myself that I will not settle. I only want the best. I want a woman who is as, if not more, passionate about me and the relationship as I am. I want to fall in love with her every day. I want to be spontaneous and romantic for years to come. I want to love without shame, fear, or boundaries and have that same love reciprocated. I want to be with someone who continuously helps me strive to be better and push my own limits. I want someone who challenges me to be better for myself, for her, and for us. I want someone who is going to turn me on and always be sexually attracted to me. I want to be with someone who never loses sight of her love for me and reminds me of why I fell in love with her.

When you are unhappy, but comfortable in the relationship, you’re settling.
When you stop romancing or dating your S.O., you’re settling.
When your level of effort is only used for personal gain or sex, you’re settling.
When you’re boring and you never do anything with your S.O., you’re settling.
When you’re not passionate with or about your S.O. or your relationship, but you don’t change anything, you’re settling.
When you stay with someone, but you fall out of love, you’re settling.

My advice:

Don’t settle. Don’t allow yourself to not be where you want to be with someone that is a dream come true.
If you’re with someone and they don’t make you happy or make your fall in love daily, don’t feel bad for ending things and find someone new.
If you’re with someone who is complacent and doesn’t add to your life, find someone who is always trying to better you, as much as they do themselves.
If you’re with someone who holds you back and is trying to get “saved”, RUN!
If you’re with someone who you can’t see a future with, RUN!
If you’re with someone who is selfish, doesn’t treat you will, doesn’t value you or what you add to their life, makes you feel insignificant, isn’t trustworthy, or anything else that violates your basic needs in a relationship,
slap yourself and go find someone who will actually love you.

My Idea of A Perfect Woman

“Nobody’s perfect. But you’re perfect for me!” — J. Cole

So everyone has their idea of what the perfect mate/partner would be. We all have certain traits, characteristics, and physical features of the ideal person to be involved with. The person you want to spend forever with. The person that will make you settle down. The person you want to marry in a perfect world.

When you’re single, it gets brought up about what you look for in a potential partner and it’s one of the hardest questions to answer. Not because it’s difficult to answer, but because the question is deeper than it sounds.

Everyone is looking for the stereotypical qualities, but what are you honestly looking for in a husband or wife? That’s the goal right? We date to find someone to marry. We are all undeniably searching for that one person to be our match and to give us a reason to commit to them without a shadow of a doubt.

Personally, my idea of the perfect woman is complicated.

To me, she has to be STRONG. A woman has to be strong, not only to deal with me, but to deal with everything that life throws at her. In all honesty, it’s difficult to be a woman. It always has been in society. We love and protect women, but we also hate and disrespect them. Women have to deal with their own emotions on a daily basis. They have to deal with living up to society’s opinions and views on beauty and success and morality, all while trying to lead lives that they can be proud of. Women are sexually objectified and harassed, so much that it’s commonplace.

It takes a strong woman to be her own person and to march to the beat of her own drum. It takes a strong woman to put up with and to love a man like me. I’ll be honest. I’m not the easiest to love or to deal with. I have been hurt so many times that I sometimes let those hurts carry over into new relationships. I have unknowingly passed the burden to women in my life to help correct problems from my past, which is unfair. I also am a ladies’ man. Not that I am out here trying to throw the D at every female that looks good, but I just have a personality that makes women gravitate toward me. I’ve been told numerous times that I flirt by accident and I give off the wrong impression to women. So I know that any woman that wants to be involved with me has to be strong because she is going to have to be able to understand who I am and how to master my personality.

An ideal woman has to have a STORY. Everybody has a story; yes. But the ideal woman needs to have a story. A testimony. Something that separates her journey from the norm. I believe that she should be a woman that has a product of triumphs and failures. I believe that everyone, men and women, are broken in some form or fashion. Whether from a rough family history or a turbulent romantic past or by other factors.

I believe that a woman should be SUCCESSFUL. Not that she has to make a certain amount of have a certain status, but she has to be successful in her life. I want a woman that has goals and ambitions. I want a woman that has accomplished something in her life that she is proud of. Whether she graduated from college or from trade school. Whether she has a successful position in a company or firm. Whether she overcame something or not.

A woman should be SEXY. Yeah I said it. Sexy. Not that she has to flaunt what she got or bought. But I want a woman that can command a room and turn heads. I want a woman that isn’t afraid to be a good looking woman. She must walk with her head held high with confidence. She has to have humility, to know what she was blessed with, but not to think of herself more highly than others. She has to take care of herself. She has to be well-dressed and carry herself with class and dignity.

A woman should be SUPER. Not like a fictional character. But she needs to be a hero. I want a woman that is super in all aspects of her life.

Everyone has a different view of their ideal mate. Whatever you define as perfect is perfect for you.
Someone may read this and agree. Others won’t.

But a perfect woman should have these characteristics.

Fall Frenzy: Things Men Should Be Prepared to Do During Fall

Pinterest Projects

Fall is the breeding ground for female Pinterest boards! When the season changes and the weather cools down, it’s like some chemical compound goes crazy in a female’s brain and her desire to be crafty goes from 0 to 100.Whether you live together or not, be prepared to spend alot of time being a handyman. She will be overly excited about all the stuff she saw on Pinterest and how easy it looked. So get ready to take numerous trips to AC Moore and Hobby Lobby and Walmart for supplies.If you live together, your house will look like either Halloween town or a corn maze because your S.O. will not sleep until your house is the mecca of all things fall!
If you’re one of the lucky ones and you both have your own places, don’t think you’re getting off easy. You’ll spend more time at her place than yours, doing the exact same thing that the guys that live with their women do. And pray to God that she doesn’t have a roommate because that’s just double the trouble!

The only pro to all this for you is that you’ll get to know how to be crafty and how to use your hands, if you didn’t already know. The more you help, the more you’ll be rewarded, even if you smell like pumpkin and pine cones after all is said and done.

Seasonal Eats

If you thought that you were just going to have to deal with PSLs, you are a rookie. Starbucks is going to be a staple in her dietary choices until Spring Break. That’s a given. But there’s more fall foods and dishes that you’ll have to get used to.If you thought that #1 was restricted to only crafts and home projects….WRONG. Pinterest is the land of milk and honey in the fall! The amount of recipes that your S.O. will see will blow your mind.Don’t be weary though. You will not go hungry and probably won’t have to help much. And you are the designated taste tester! She’ll probably end up making a bunch of snacks on Saturdays and Sundays when you’re watching football! It’s a perfect tradeoff!

Fall-Themed Dates/Events

Fall is full of allure outside of the house. No matter where you live, you’re going to be surrounded by so many fall-themed events that will give you and your S.O. time to spend with one another and make memories. Or at least take alot of selfies and eat!Corn mazes, pumpkin patches, sunflower patches, hayrides, etc etc.
Get the camera ready. Practice your smile. Make sure you have your North Face or Columbia jacket ready.Don’t forget about football games and tailgating! It’s the perfect time. Especially if both of you love college football!

Halloween

Halloween isn’t just for kids and trick-or-treating. Costumes aren’t just for the kids either.Adults have more fun getting to be big kids on Halloween. And we get to buy half-priced candy the next day!Your S.O. is probably going to want to go to that one Halloween party where all of your friends will be. And she’s going to want to get either matching or costumes that compliment one another. You two are going to be a unit. You two are going to win the award for “Best Costumes.”

So get ready to either become a familiar face at Party City and Spirit Halloween or get ready to get crafty (i.e. Pinterest and Google) and create something memorable!

More than likely, your girl is going to wear some sexy costume and you’ll both have enough alcohol in you after the fact to enjoy a great Halloween night together! Just make sure that taking off your costumes can be done by easily!

Cuddling

This is probably the best part for you. It’s the basis of the season. CUFFING SEASON!
You get to spend quality time with your S.O. and enjoying time relaxing. When it gets colder outside, you can turn up the heat and put on comfy clothes and just lounge around more often. Pick a tv series on Netflix or Hulu and binge watch.
Netflix and chill as much as you want.

Things I Should Tell My Parents More Often

My mom always tells me, “I’m your mother. You only get one! Don’t forget that!”

I honestly always took that negatively. Like she was trying to spite me and command my respect for her. And to be completely honest, she probably was.

I wasn’t the most respectful teenager. I challenged my mother. I argued and bickered constantly with Mom Dukes! I still do to this day, but in a more mature way since I’m not a kid anymore.

Looking back at how I was in my teen years, I could have been a better child to both of my parents, even amidst their divorce and afterwards. But kids will be kids and we all grow up to see the error in their ways, but to understand why they did some of the things they did to raise us. (This is a generalized statement)

I love my parents, but I know that sometimes, I, like all of us Millennials, could give my parents some verbal admiration more often. There’s more ways to say I love you than just easily saying “I love you.” It gets redundant, first of all. And we all say “I love you” in different ways.

Trust me. Parents are some of the most emotional people when it comes to their children. So when we go out of our way to say something heartfelt, it strikes a nerve and will put them in their feelings like when you’re Drakin’ & Drivin’.

Here’s a list of things I personally need to tell my parents more often:

1. I Love You.
   Simply put. Simply stated.
   You’ve done so much for me over the past 25 years.

   I’m probably going to sound like DJ Khaled when I say this, but:
   You’re smart. You’re loyal. You’re real. You tell it like it is. You’re a hustler. You’re phenomenal. YOU THE BEST!

2. Thank you for supporting me.
   I don’t have kids of my own yet, but I know that you’ve sacrificed more than enough for me over the years. You’ve given up your own wants and needs so that I would never be without. You worked hard to give me the things and opportunities you didn’t have so that I could have the life you always dreamed for your children. You were tough on me. Quitting and failure were not words or ideas that were accepted. You disciplined me fairly and justly. Always to make me better and to teach me the things that I needed to make it in the world. You have always been my biggest fans, regardless of what I chose to participate in. Whether it be sports, music, academics, photography, fashion, etc. You’ve always supported me and I couldn’t thank you enough.
3. Thanks for cooking dinner.
   You know I like to eat. Nobody can cook better than my (or your) parents. No matter what it was, somehow, it was always pretty good.
   And since I love to eat, you taught me at an early age how to cook what I like to eat for myself, so that I would never be hungry.
   You opened the door to teach me things that I wanted to learn at home. No one else would have took the time to teach me how to cook sweet potato pie, fried eggs, pigs in a blanket, pancakes, scones, hashbrowns, gumbo, or how to cook Thanksgiving dinner!

   (And now, not only my friends know that I can cook, but the whole world knows.)

4. You were right.
   I really must be getting older and more mature if I can swallow my pride and admit that I was wrong to my parents.

   You were right. Time and time again. Your wisdom exceeds mine. I admit it. I should have listened more and saved myself the hardship, but I know that you only tell me what I need to hear and try to help me with things so that I don’t make the same mistakes that you did.

5. I still need help/advice.
   Umm…..yeah. I may be an adult and be on my own and successful, but that doesn’t mean that I’m ready for everything yet. I’m always going to need some advice along the way.

   When I don’t have all the answers and I can’t ask my friends, I know that I can call you and get a (lengthy) response and probably won’t want to hear what you have to say. But, your advice trumps anything other people will tell me because you always have my best interest at heart.
   Your delivery might be atrocious.
   You might not make the most sense.
   But I will understand it (sooner or later) because I know my parents and I know what you’re trying to get across.

6. I appreciate you.
   Appreciation. Validation. That’s what you need to hear from me.
   When I tell you that I appreciate you, what I’m really saying is “You have no idea how much you truly mean to me. I can say ‘I love you’ but I’ve told you that since I learned how to talk. This is my true ‘I love you’ because these 3 words are rarely ever said and you deserve to know how much you mean to me.”

Embarrassing Things Only Your Childhood Bro Knows About You

As young adults/young professionals/millennials, our pasts have shaped us into the men we are today.

We all grew up through the 90s and 2000s and lived in some of the best decades to ever grow up in.

We may be successful or on our way to being the great men we aspire to be, but we were once young, dumb, goofy, nerdy, and reckless.

Aside from our families, the people who truly know the trainwrecks we once were are our bros that we grew up with.

These are the guys that know exactly who we really are and where we came from. The ones who will always remember us for who we were back before jobs and responsibilities came into our lives.

Here are the embarrassing things that only our true bros know about us:

1. Pre-pubescent you.
2. Your AIM screen name.
3. When your balls dropped.
4. Your first crush.
5. Your first kiss.
6. The first note you wrote to a girl.
7. The first time you got dumped.
8. When you had braces.
9. Who was on your MySpace Top 8 (or 4 or 16 or whatever you did)
10. How bad of a dancer you were at middle school dances.
11. When you were insecure about changing in the locker room.
12. Your first public boner.
13. When you swore you would never drink or do drugs.
14. Your first real fight.
15. When you got grounded for the entire summer.
16. Yearbook pictures.
17. Juvenile pranks during sleepovers.
18. Coaching you to go talk to your crush.
19. Middle school field trips.
20. Your home phone number.
21. Sexual encounters on band trips.
22. The story of your first BJ.
23. How many Motorola Razrs you had (and broke).
24. Your first heartbreak.
25. The crazy shxt we did when you got your license and your first car.
26. The excitement to finally get facial hair.
27. When you lost your virginity
28. Homecoming dances/Prom
29. When you discovered masturbation
30. The first time you snuck out the house.
31. How crazy your family REALLY is.
32. Your secret obsession with Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera or Mandy Moore
33. Pokemon. (Nuff said)
34. Carpools with each other’s parents.
35. First time you tried something illegal.
36. Your elementary school birthday parties.
37. Your first high school party.
38. Your first hangover.
39. How much you cheated in high school.
40. That you’re really not that smart.
41. The story behind that weird scar.
42. When you’re really laughing.
43. How much your parents yelled at you.
44. The real reason why you got grounded for an entire summer.
45. Where your parents spare house key is.
46. That high school pregnancy scare with your high school sweetheart
47. When you finally stopped peeing in the bed.
48. All the porn you had stashed under your bed.
49. How incredibly goofy you were (and still are).
50. How big of a freaking loser really are at heart!

Benefits of Having A Female Best Friend

I’ve always been the guy that hung out with females. I was raised by women, so it’s natural for me to relate easily to women.

Don’t get it twisted. I’m not feminine or anything. I have a group of bros that I wouldn’t trade for the world.

But I also have a close group of female friends. I just happen to call them my sisters, since I have no biological ones.

Truthfully, I think every guy needs at least 1 or 2 devout female friends in their lives. These are the women that are strictly platonic and will always be there no matter what.

Your female friends are basically your bros that understand the opposite sex. These are the females that will never be fake to you because they love you for who you are, regardless of your stupid decisions, your failed attempts at cooking ramen, or your choice in women.

Having a girlfriend is a wonderful thing. Having a girl best friend is just as amazing, just without the sex, PDA, and arguments.

Here’s why it’s great to have a female best friend:

1. ADVICE
   What’s better than getting quality advice on something you have no clue about? You definitely don’t understand much about women, even if you believe you do. Trust me. Try going to the store to buy tampons for your girlfriend without a detailed description or picture of the box.

   Having a girl on your team is a God-send. She/They will know how to be empathetic when you want to open up and talk about any topic. Since women are emotional beings, you can be vulnerable with them and expect them to be honest and forthcoming.

   She/They also know how to deter you from a potential clinger or psycho bxtch. They can read past all the BS that the girl at the bar is throwing your way. They also know when a girl is using you or stringing you along.

   Best friends always want to see you happy, and none more than your female friends. You can always count on a female friend to help you make the right decisions, especially in your romantic relationships.

2. She Actually Cares
   Your bros suck in the emotional department. Let’s be honest. They are usually selfish, apathetic, and horrible listeners.
   Your female friends will always be there to comfort you when you need it.

   Your bros are great for watching big games, playing FIFA or 2K, or distracting you from the BS of life. You can bet that your girl best friends will take the time to listen to you and how you’re feeling.

3. Guilty Pleasures
   You like to sing old 90s hits in the car? You like to go to Target and wander aimlessly around? You like to do “girly” things from time to time? Your female best friends won’t judge you. Hell, they’ll be game to join you!

   You can be as weird as you want because they’re just as weird and open about their weirdness! You can be yourself around your female friends because they love you for you.

   There’s no judgement in your platonic friendship, so go ahead and blast NSYNC in the car and sing your heart out!

4. It’s Like the Sister You Never Had
   The relationship you develop with your female best friend is like that of a sister. There won’t be any boundaries crossed (if it’s strictly platonic). She’ll more than likely borrow your clothes (and never return them), love you unconditionally, piss you off, fight with you, and make you a better person, much like a sister does.

   You don’t have to worry about much with her. She’s always going to have your back and make sure that you are always at your best. She will make sure that you are always dressed well and have good hygiene.

5. She Won’t Be As JEALOUS As Your Girlfriend
   Without a doubt, your girlfriend will get jealous. She will definitely question your female best friend and her intentions, regardless of how many times you explain the situation.

   Men don’t want to deal with the crazy jealous girlfriend, but 9 times outta 10, your girlfriend will feel threatened by your best friend because she has a vagina and tits. Even if your friend is the reason why you’re together, or if your friend isn’t as attractive as your girlfriend, be prepared for a meltdown or a bitch fest sooner or later.

   You don’t have to worry about liking a random girl’s Instagram pictures with your female friend like you do with your girlfriend.

   She might catch feelings for you. She might like you a little bit. But at the end of the day, she really doesn’t think any girl is good enough for you. And she’ll probably never want to date you because she knows too much about you!

   Sometimes, these friendships evolve and turn into romantic relationships. (WHOLE NOTHER TOPIC FOLKS) But, usually they stay strictly platonic. More like a brother-sister relationship.

So, don’t let anyone make you feel bad for having a girl as a best friend my dude. We are usually better off with these ladies in our lives anyways.

Songs That I’ll Have to Explain to my Kids One Day

I love music.
By far, one of the most important and influential things in my life.

As a musician and lover of music, I am basically a walking playlist. Thousands of songs are at my disposable at any given time. It’s a guarantee that you will see me nodding my head or dancing in silence or having my own concert when I have my headphones on or when I’m in my car.

One day, I’m going to have the blessing of having at least one mini me, among the nieces and nephews and godchildren I’m already blessed with.

It’s safe to say that any child that is in my life will have a good love for music. They will be brought up around a variety of musical styles and will have rhythm and lyrics absorbed within the fiber of their being.

It’s great to see my nieces and nephews whip and Nae Nae, but that’s not good music. There is so music music they need to hear from when I was their age (90s music!) and even before.

I am excited to share music with them, but I am also a little fearful of having to answer their questions about the songs or their lyrics.

There are definitely more than these, but here’s a list of some of the songs I want kids to hear but am afraid to discuss:

1. Lil Jon & the Eastside Boys – Get Low
2. Khia – My Neck, My Back
3. Nelly – Tip Drill
4. Next – Too Close
5. Three 6 Mafia – Slob On My Knob
6. Trillville – Some Cut
7. Ginuwine – Pony
8. Sisqo – Thong Song
9. Ying Yang Twins – Wait (The Whisper Song)
10. David Banner – Play
11. Marvin Gaye – Sexual Healing
12. Ludacris – Whats Your Fantasy
13. Trey Songz – NaNa
14. 50 Cent – Magic Stick
15. Plies – Buss It Baby
16. Pretty Ricky – Hotline
17. Kelis – Milkshake
18. Divinyls – I Touch Myself
19. Chris Brown – Take You Down
20. Lil Wayne – Lollipop
21. Big Sean – IDFWU
22. Silk – Freak Me
23. Jodeci – Come and Talk to Me
24. Teddy Pendergrass – Turn Off The Lights
25. T-Pain – I’m In Love With A Stripper
26. Nicki Minaj – Anaconda
27. DJ Unk – Don’t Hide That P****
28. Too Short – Shake That Monkey
29. Lil Boosie – They Dykin
30. Afroman – Because I Got High
31. Ludacris – P**** Poppin
32. Freak Nasty – Da Dip
33. Tyga – Rack City
34. D4L – Laffy Taffy
35. E-40 ft. T-Pain – U & Dat
36. 69 Boyz – Let Me Ride That Donkey
37. Montell Jordan – This Is How We Do It
38. Ice Cube – Today Was A Good Day
39. 112 – Peaches & Cream
40. Naughty By Nature – O.P.P.
41. Blackstreet – No Diggity
42. Crime Mobb – Knuck If You Buck
43. Rick James – Super Freak
44. Ludacris ft. Nate Dogg – Area Codes
45. The Commodores – Brick House
46. Snoop Dogg – Sensual Seduction
47. 50 Cent – Candy Shop
48. R. Kelly – Ignition
49. Prince – Little Red Corvette
50. Wreckx-N-Effect – Rump Shaker

IDK Babe: Why Can’t Women Make A Decision On What to Eat

Food.
Eating.
Everybody has to do it!

When you’re involved with someone, food and dining is very important within the relationship. Whether it be for date night or something to eat while binge watching your favorite shows on NetFlix or for dinner every night, food and eating is a common topic of discussion between lovers.

Men EAT. Nothing is going to stop us from eating. Either we are craving something or we’re just plain hungry. Whatever the case, food is food and it doesn’t take us long to decide on what to eat or where to get food from.

But, women. Beautiful, wonderful, amazing women.
Why is it that you ladies can’t find a decisive fiber in your being to be able to make a decision on what to eat when we ask you?!

I’m not saying that you never eat or never make a decision on what to eat. But for some strange reason, when your S.O. asks you what you want to eat, your mind draws a blank and that part of your brain that control decision-making goes on break.

I’ve dealt with this, but don’t just think I’m the only one who this has happened to.

When we become committed in our relationships, we become vulnerable and comfortable with certain things. Men, over time, will become comfortable with their bodies and become complacent with keeping up our fitness as we did when single. Women, for some reason, become comfortable with other things and stop making plans or decisions on say, I don’t know….DINNER!

Let me set up a scenario and let me know how accurate this is.

JT and Cheyenne are sitting in the house on a Thursday night. Cheyenne is hungry and JT walks in the house from work.
C: Hey baby! How are you? How was work?
J: Hey babe. Work sucked today. My boss was a total d-bag and gave me a bunch to do right before I was about to leave. How was your day?
C: It was ok. Work wasn’t anything special. I went to the gym after work and now I’m STARVING! Are you hungry?
J: Oh HECKS YEAH!! What do you want to eat? You want to grab something or you want to cook together?
C: Umm…….I don’t care babe. Whatever you want.
J: You just said you’re starving right? You haven’t been thinking about something to eat?
C: No, not really. I was just ready to see you. How’s my booty look?
J: It looks nice, but what about food? You want to sit in at a restaurant or nah?
C: Yeah we can do that.
J: Ok cool. What sounds good?
C: Ummm…..whatever you want. Doesn’t matter to me. I’ll eat whatever.
J: Ok. so…..what about fast food? You love Chik Fil A!
C: No. I don’t want that. I just worked out babe.
J: True true. Not the best post-workout. What about hibachi?
C: No. I’m not in the mood for that. Rice and water = bloated!
J: ok…….how about Ruby Tuesdays? Unlimited Salad bar?
C: No. Not in the mood for that.
J: Logans? Cheddars? Bonefish? Mexican?
C: Hmm…..idk whatever you want babe!
J: WHAT THE…..(Jesus take the wheel)……well I don’t know what you want then.
C: Babe, just surprise me! You know what I like

Sound accurate?

Ladies, please stop doing this to us. We don’t have any issue making decisions. But sometimes it would be a relief if you took the lead and made a decision for dinner and meals.

Lawd Have Mercy: Why Men Love Your Body Type

Ladies.
This is something you need to hear. It may not make a difference or change your perception, but every woman needs to hear this.

You are not your weight.
You are not the number on the scale.

Now, women in relationships especially get insecure and down in themselves when they put on weight, and for good reason. If your woman is not happy with herself for putting on some extra weight, that should make a man/woman feel good because that means that your woman cares enough about you to want to look her best for you.

But, women also do not like to gain extra weight for their own reasoning either. Whether it be a goal to stay under a certain weight or maybe they want to fit into their favorite pair of jeans or favorite shirt.

Whatever the reason, an increase in weight/size for a woman can lead to insecurities, self-esteem issues, and can also affect the relationship.

Take it from me, I have dealt with being with someone who has gained extra weight. The mental strain from the weight gain was the major issue. She lost the weight, then after we lived together, gained it back. It doesn’t matter what your S.O. says if you don’t have the desire and motivation to change what you don’t like.

All the support and love your S.O. will give you doesn’t mean anything if you look and the mirror and tell yourself something different.

All the compliments and sweet words of encouragement are empty when you’re upset with yourself because your clothes aren’t fitting right.

Trust me ladies, I know the struggle.
I know firsthand how that makes you feel and what it will do to you, as well as to your S.O.
While you think it’s just a personal setback or problem, the way you act can and will create unnecessary problems in your relationship.

Ladies.
PSA.

A man that loves you:

• understands that your body will change and fluctuate much more easily than his,
• knows that the number on the scale doesn’t always mean that you’ve let yourself go,
• likes you to have a little bit extra for selfish reasons (*wink wink*),
• will be supportive and help you to set up and reach your goals to lose the weight, and
• will not make a big deal about it because he loves you and your body.